A Mind, Lively and at Ease

month

November 2011

4 posts

Life Trees and the Deaf Ones

   First there was only the empty space—chaos, but soon that cosmos ended. With it’s death came the Endless Lands, dry and desolate, their Shadow Clouds, and the peerless Moon. The high Shadows accompanied the rayless, expansive terrain until they grew irritable and bored. These clouds struck each other in rage, ripping themselves apart and bleeding onto the lifeless ground below. With each tear of their shadowy forms, rivers sprung across the barren soil to flow and run freely. Some rivers joined together into leagues, spawning vast oceans. The rest became close families of lakes or remained solitary from their kindred. Each vein carried the Endless Land’s lifeblood, essential in all living beings and universal in name and number.

   However, the Shadows still wouldn’t stop warring with one another—clashing against their brothers and sisters. Great piercing sparks flew and escaped their crowded and brooding tension, striking the rivers and their children lakes. Thus, the water absorbed each lightening shock to gather power. Using their newly gained energy, the rivers, lakes, and oceans began life on the Endless Lands, animating the clay to form great multitudes of beings.

   Finally, seeing the new diversion, the remaining Shadow Clouds dispersed in many distant directions to watch life grow and change. As they separated, the light they hid for millenia shone through to the endless frontier. The ancestors of the Trees came into being as the light’s gift to the earth. The Trees propagated, growing and nourishing plants for company, and they all provided shelter for the rivers and their children. The light brought warmth to their cold forms and attracted the new living beings to bathe more directly in its path. The waters nurtured their offspring, allowing some beings to move beyond their wet nests to the rocks and the green wilderness. The Trees welcomed their new dominion, ruling over their inhabitants with the solemn justice of their windwords. The Trees, as the Endless Land’s lungs, gathered their voice for spreading truths. Together, they convened to send their windwords skyward to the old and wise Moon, asking for rain and evening so they may rest from the light. The Moon, luminous with insight, granted soft night and ebbing tides to the gracious Trees.

   Some beings, like the crocodile, were cast back to the water for their rude heresy. The crocodiles challenged the Trees to prove their leafed divinity by walking beyond their roots. As the Trees uprooted from their ground, the crocodiles feasted upon the creatures left behind. Seeing this deceit and guile, the Trees sent the guilty reptiles to the eldest river. Since then, crocodiles are forever asking for forgiveness in the bright light as penance.

   Other creatures came back to their mother rivers and lakes, seeking their family and the enriched waters. The dolphins, having discovered all that the Endless Lands offered, vowed to spend their remaining days playing together, fueled by happy memories of their ancestors. Likewise, never venturing beyond their mother’s bosom, fish floated blissfully as stunted youths. The rivers, lakes, and oceans embraced their special children, gifting them with all the succor and sustenance of a mother’s blessings.

   Seemingly boundless time passed in harmony; the Trees remaining noble and just in their sovereignty. Their windwords echoed across all land and water to encompass the forest of life. Many creatures learned to climb onto their tallest branches, looking to join the Trees in their celestial hearing and sight. Those creatures, in their lazy life above ground, slowly forgot how to listen to the Trees. Monkeys filled their heads with fruitless social quarrels, growing vain and boastful. They fell from the Trees grace, unknowingly. Their children forgot how to climb, as did their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. When all was forgotten, man became. Restless and lacking the protection of the high Trees’ limbs, their legs carried them far and wide searching for answers. They asked the Endless Lands, rivers and oceans questions, but without the windwords, their search was futile. Their ears never heard the Trees’ whispers, riddled between leaf and branch, again.

Something I wrote over the summer for a creative writing workshop in response to a creation/mythology prompt. I really enjoyed writing it. 

Nov 29, 20110 notes
#legend #myth #nature #religion #writing #creation #prose
I've Got This Friend The Civil Wars

I’ve Got This Friend - The Civil Wars

Hooked on their album, Barton Hollow, on repeat. Other favorites: 20 Years, C’est la mort, Poison & Wine, Birds of a Feather, and of course the namesake Barton Hollow. 

Can I just forget about school and go retreat into the country for a while?

…Well, back to my paper I guess. 

Nov 28, 2011-1 notes
All too Familiar Feeling

It’s back. I saw it too late. There was a stealthy countdown I couldn’t catch. I just want to be alone, but it’s the last thing I need. Some sort of false sense of independence… but I wouldn’t be anywhere without my family. 

My friends don’t understand how you just want to sit at the dinner table, and listen, just listen about everyone’s lives, crack a joke or two. That you’d just be happy to laugh in response, tease the entire group in order to hear the exclamations and jokes in return. Suddenly, we all remember this one time where someone did something ridiculous, and the story gains a new light: repeated in a new tone or said in the same way but added to with the bright yellow light of the kitchen and all the voices chiming in. 

That’s what I miss the most. The voices. The surge of volume and laughter, or even an argument, and then a gentle return or a steady re-telling of events back on subject. Sometimes silence. Always humor, although it can be unnecessary or actually harmful. 

An only child can’t exactly relate. 

Maybe that’s where I learned to love words. My grandmother was a hostess of stories, ones you were guaranteed to have heard before… almost exactly the same way. My sister tried to film her once, to record it all. I wish that had worked better. Every once in a while, you’d find a new gem. I’d ask my parents about it, and they’d be surprised that I hadn’t heard it, and they’d elaborate or correct it. See, sometimes my grandma’s stories were mostly stories that started or ran back to the truth. I think it only made them better, garnished with her crazy personality and strange half-blind perspective. 

I guess that’s why I always feel out of sorts—living as a college student, trying to find some sense of self sufficiency. I fight myself though, always wanting to be around a family, trying to create a family out of friends.

And that’s my fault. Friends aren’t necessarily going to do the same.

I love that my family remembers little quips, silly and stupid things you’ve said or done. They never let those die. 

“What do you mean her son’s younger than she is?”

“Why are you putting shoes in the refrigerator?”

…and so many more. 

They remind me that I don’t have to always be so strong, although I try my hardest. They always hug me, no matter the occasion, or get a kiss on the cheek through a doctor’s check-in window. They see beyond the smile I wear to the tired person beneath, the one that always has a snarky sarcastic comment and a “fuck this shit” attitude, although they know it really hurts. 

Best of all, they get my jokes. I LOVE that they respond to my jokes. Seriously, it’s torture when I crack a few and my roommates just nod along, not really getting it. It’s probably because it derives from our own strange sense of humor. I love it. I miss it. I’m a family person, through and through. 

Anyway, not really fiction or anything, but I felt like expounding on what I’m thankful for right now. I don’t think it will ever be different. I wish I could get it through to myself that it’s okay to want to rely on other people, it’s worth the disappointment at times. I guess this is a reaction to the poem I transcribed yesterday. Truly, I’m only me through the help, love, and support of everyone significant in my life. 

Nov 23, 20110 notes
#prose
In a Relationship

Settling in a den of filth,

feeling my own hands create

this dire hollow,

I looked at the sunset

only to see the very mirror

of a dim, grey

lawless fate, a cacophony

of risk.

There, in the harsh outlines

of raven and crow

with the scattering of fast

paced bats, a rupture—

a break that let one single

ray escape

to rivet onto my pale frame.

Less and less I dug

with wasted fingers

instead brimming with the

sensation of dirt and grime

my body in the very prime—

ready to be washed,

ready for you to find.

Thus, I woke from this awake

state to the very dreams

I long desired, long held abate

and clutched

and rushed quite willingly

back into my whispered state,

fields, forests,

but of all, that sun…

that helium gas billowing blaze

that reveals as much as

it shadows,

that gives as much as

it takes,

a love of the one

the one

the one

the only thing I could feel

until I lie still, asleep

in empty and eternal silence.

The one, the one,

MY one,

that bright, inexplicable entity

was always,

will forever,

had been infinitely,

is

me. 

Nov 22, 201130 notes
#acceptance #identity #slow slam #individuality #trusting yourself #poem
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